Every week I take my toddler to swim lessons, and every week it makes me think about girls and their bodies.

Not because of my body or because of my toddler’s body, but because of a 9-year-old girl who takes lessons on the other side of the pool.

I don’t know this girl, but I know her pain.

You see, this girl has clearly started going through puberty earlier than the other girls in her swim class. Her body looks very different from theirs. She has curves where they are straight; she has flesh where they have bones.

And she’s so, so uncomfortable about it.

How do I know?

Because she does that thing where she keeps her towel wrapped tightly around her until the second they have to get in the water.

Because during those few moments when the towel isn’t shielding her, she’s tugging endlessly at her tankini to try to hide her belly.

Because I see her eyes wander desperately to the other girls’ bodies over and over.

Every time I think, “Please don’t start fighting your body, dear girl. Not your beautiful, natural, perfectly normal body.” 

That’s a fight most women know all too well.

It’s a fight we wish our daughters could avoid completely.

That’s probably impossible, though, considering the world we live in and its obsession with the physical appearance of girls and women. 

Nevertheless, there are some critical lessons about weight that most girls aren’t learning. Heck, most moms need a refresher too! These simple truths about our bodies are the backbone of body acceptance and self-esteem, so let’s make sure they’re a regular part of the conversation with our daughters. More →

“Awww, you look so pretty!” I squealed to my toddler after getting her all dressed up in her special outfit for Easter.

“Pretty, pretty!” she echoed, looking down and pointing to her dress. “This dress makes me pretty!”

I stopped dead in my tracks. 

The DRESS makes you pretty??? Where’d you get the idea that the dress has anything to do with it?

It was the last thing this feminist mama wanted to hear coming out of her daughter’s mouth!

How Did We Get Here?

Since then, I’ve been asking myself over and over again how my daughter—who is not yet two years old!—has already developed an association between the word “pretty” and her clothing.

Why does she hear the word “pretty” and immediately look down to see what she’s wearing?
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“Your baby is how old again?” she asked me.

“Ten months, I can’t hardly believe it!” I responded.

“And you’ve obviously gotten your body back, too. Good for you!”

There’s no shortage of advice out there for how to “get your body back” after having a baby, and in case you think it isn’t doable, there’s always a gossip magazine to show you how such-and-such celebrity got hers back in just 3 weeks/days/hours/minutes.

That’s right, you just went through the most physically and emotionally exhausting feat of your life, and you’re led to believe your next thought should not be, Whoa, my body is freakin’ INCREDIBLE! but rather, I wonder how soon I can start doing crunches again?

This is unbelievably messed up, and I think it all begins with that ridiculous phrase “get your body back.” 

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There’s been enough talk about Photoshopped images in advertising that nowadays most of us women know a digitally altered image when we see one.

That’s not to say it doesn’t make us feel bad about ourselves, but at least we realize that the images of perfect bodies we’re bombarded with day after day are unrealistic.

Not so for young girls.

According to Adios Barbie, 69% of elementary school girls say magazine images influence their concept of ideal body shape.

We’re talking girls under the age of 11. That is not OK. More →